A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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