Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize