his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
