I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We had sex on a dog bed..
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.