SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
we made out on top of his cat.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name