You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
