i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
