She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
