Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
