Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
