so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
