I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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