farters have to be the big spoon...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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