I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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