Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I cockslap morals
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize