i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I have tasted many bathrooms
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
