I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
