i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
