are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
