alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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