So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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