He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
please come you make the beer taste better
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
did i just pee glitter
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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