I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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