I can tuck mytits in my pants
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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