I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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