btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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