if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
