I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
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He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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