"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I wish you could order shots online.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
