some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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