I wish I only lived at night.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
