Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
