I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
