why didn't you poke me back
operation harelip BJ is a go
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
