im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
