He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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