the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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