"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
