Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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