she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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