their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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