I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
