her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize