No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
