i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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