you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
