she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
this just has baby written all over it
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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