all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
