Me. At least after what I've been through.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
We need to rekindle our bromance
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
