She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My feet surprised me
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