i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
