The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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