Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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